I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
She's like a pop up book from hell.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
