Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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