let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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