11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Randomize
