I never want to see another naked old woman again.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
