He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
