I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
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