Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize