Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
