Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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