think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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