just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
