bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
