he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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