I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
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