Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
