I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
