You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
