They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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