What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize