i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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