Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
