It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
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