I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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