Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
