i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i will never coherently bang her
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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