It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
