i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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