If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
