she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
this hospital has no fireball
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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