Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize