I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
