he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize