I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
