The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
