3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
You can't motorboat a personality
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Randomize
