It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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