i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
this is an emotional support booty call
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
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