i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
