dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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