i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
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