She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Randomize
