The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Randomize