He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
