it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
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