Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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