we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
