You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
sarcasm needs its own font
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
