i don't like sucking hair
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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