She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
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