you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
