Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
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