Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Randomize
