4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
