I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I just found a bag of teeth...
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
