I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
