Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
