I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize