She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
