Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
