Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
