I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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