I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
So apparently I’m into choking now
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