Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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