My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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