Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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