pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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