Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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