Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
The best revenge is premature balding
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
