dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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