he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize